Answers without, answers within

Continuing from yesterday’s Blodeuwedd card, I decided to try out my first Yoni spread by asking for further clarification about the whole betrayal thingy. I didn’t formulate a specific question, but just kinda channeled my desire for more illumination on the subject as I shuffled the cards.

The Yoni spread focuses awareness on the three aspects of the Feminine Self: Wise Woman, Emotional Body and Sexuality in relation to the question, problem or issue, which in this case, was vaguely about the impact of the childhood betrayal on me now.

Lakshmi (source)

Cards drawn:

Wise Woman: Lakshmi / Abundance
Emotional Body: Sphinx / Challenge
Sexuality: Corn Woman / Nourishment

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My attempt at interpreting the cards:

The Wise Woman aspect is the source of feminine inner knowing and wisdom.  Lakshmi’s presence here indicates the need to take on an abundance mentality in order to nourish this aspect of the feminine.  Stepping back, I know I used to have this outlook, but because of how things are going (or rather, NOT going!) in terms of career and finances, I have slipped from an abundance mindset to one more ruled by poverty and fear.  This might be blocking the flow of prosperity that would otherwise be coming our way, since you attract what you think…  But how does this relate to the betrayal thing?  I’m not sure.

The Sphinx sits in the Emotional Body position, where she challenges how I’ve been expressing (or not) my emotions, indicating that how I’ve been dealing with my problems in the past is NOT the way to go.  Hmmm, you mean my losing my tongue, shutting down, avoidance, all that wasn’t good for me?  Sorry for the sarcasm, but I am aware of it… I suppose this is a little poke to say being aware isn’t enough, you need to do too.  … and how does this relate to the betrayal thing?  I can safely say that my defense mechanism has been in place a long long time, perhaps as a result of the childhood incident?  If that’s the case, then it really is time to fix it, eh?

image source

I was quite taken aback by the write-up of the Corn Woman and what she represents.  Sitting in the Sexuality position, the Corn Woman indicates that my not-so-healthy relationship with food, and therefore my body/self-image, is something I need to change in order to nourish this important aspect of the feminine.  Ain’t that the truth.  Perhaps my unhealthy behaviour also has its origins in the betrayal of the past?

Stepping back and trying to look at the overall message, I suppose that in order to overcome the impact of my past, I need to have a more positive, abundant outlook on life; I need to tackle my problems differently; and I need to have a healthy relationship with food.

hmmm….. It’s not quite gelling, but it’s not wrong either.

I’ll need to try this spread more in order to get used to it, as well as get to know the deities within this deck.

Would you like your own free card reading?  Drop me a line at azlynne1972 [at] gmail [dot] com with the question; if you have a preference, you are welcome to specify the deck and spread you’d like, too.  Please remember to use Card Reading as the subject! 

In order to get to know the The Goddess Oracle Deck by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and Hrana Janto, this evening I took the time to once again look at every card in the deck; then took a quick look at the introduction section of the accompanying book.  I then decided to go ahead and see who would pop up as I kept something like the following question in my mind as I shuffled the deck:

“Which aspect of the Goddess should I meditate on today?”

The card I drew was Blodeuwedd - betrayal.

It was a little disconcerting, to say the least.  I’m supposed to meditate on betrayal?!  I should think about the source of betrayal, because all betrayal comes from self-betrayal?  Ooof!  I could feel my entire being shy away from all this.  What do you expect, there have been a few nasty betrayal-related incidents in my past, whether in my own personal relationships, or that of my family. (*here*)

image source

Unsure what to think, I continued reading the suggested Ritual for connecting with Blodeuwedd.  The Ritual deals with invoking Blodeuwedd and asking her help to identify the childhood betrayal from which stems the other betrayals one would experience.

Childhood betrayal?

Click!

I should have had that click (*here*) but once again, my mind really shied away and shut down so fast…!  Once again, you ask?  You see, back when I visited a palmist earlier this year, she noted that there was a betrayal I had experienced, probably around the age of 8 or so, definitely before I was 10 years old, that impacted me greatly, so much so that it’s still impacting me presently.  I immediately said I had no idea what that would be, even as I observed my mind go into shutdown mode.  It was only a few days later, coming at the topic obliquely, I realised that something I had blogged about as a pivotal moment in my family’s path had indeed happened before I was 10 years old.  I knew I had blogged about it, but during the session with the palmist, my mind stubbornly told me I was older than 10 so that couldn’t be the incident.

Maybe it wasn’t.  But chances are, it was.  I didn’t call it pivotal for nothing.  Nuff said, tho - if you want to know more, you’ll have to find my other anonymous blog!  :p

Anyways.

So yes, perhaps drawing this card was an indication and reminder that despite what I think, that episode in my past continues to … haunt? … me and needs to be resolved.

I will definitely have to meditate on that!

There’s a Part Two to this… stay tuned!

And for those curious about my choice of image:  according to Welsh traditions, Blodeuwedd was the first owl, cursed to this form by her betrayed husband.